Ye Olde Intarwebs

This morning, I opened my Slashdot digest and found a little nugget of nostalgia waiting for me. Someone over at PC Magazine took a moment to reflect on the online games of yesteryear. As I scrolled through their list of titles, I think something got stuck in my eye. It got a little misty in here, I'm not gonna lie.

You see, few people know this, but back in the day, Yob ran one of the more popular Bulletin Board Systems (or BBSes for your fetuses out there) in the Phoenix area.

Thinking back on that time, I have fond memories of dragging a 50-foot phone cable across the living room every night. You see, in the 80s and 90s we didn't have persistent, always-on high-speed internet access. In fact, home "servers" could only talk to one visitor at a time (unless you had a lot of money and could afford multiple modems). So that meant lines were frequently busy, and you had to wait for your turn to log into a BBS.

Can you imagine waiting in line to check your Facebook? People would riot.

But I digress.

So there I was, a VERY nerdy early teenager, running a pretty popular BBS. But because I was a kid, the BBS had specific hours of operation when my parents would allow me to tie up the phone lines for hours on end.

It was there that modern-day file sharing was born. But more than that, it was there that modern day Massive Multiplayer Online games (or MMOs for you decrepit old farts) were born.

First off, there were games like Tradewars 2002.


To this day, I am hard pressed to find a game that I've been addicted to playing more that TW2k2. The only one I think comes close would be the Mass Effect series. In TW2002, my brother and I would join forces and dominate our own little corner of the universe, building trade relationships with a slew of spaceports, and amassing our forces to fend off intruders and the occasional wandering Ferengi. (Yes, Ferengi... apparently the game's authors just couldn't resist the irresistible urge to reference Star Trek).

Another favorite was Legend of the Red Dragon (LORD).


If you think of today's games like Oblivion, Dragon Age and Neverwinter Nights... you can probably trace their roots back to the likes of LORD. Knowing that, it's pretty obvious how addicting it was. Sadly fantasy RPGs of that era tended to be full of corny dialog and cheesy monsters. But LORD took itself just seriously enough to provide a balanced, engrossing gaming environment. Thus, another genre of computer game was born.

Casting aside the obvious gaming tropes for a moment, there were other gems from the dial-up BBS era that we just don't see much anymore. Games like BarneySplat!

If you were born before 1989, you will probably remember that fucking purple dinosaur named Barney and his vaguely creepy delivery of god-forsaken children's songs.


Kids loved him, adults quickly grew to loathe and ridicule him. And the teenagers caught in the middle? ...we dismembered him. Over and over again. Bloody, rage-filled, Dexter-like mutilation. It was a thing of cheese-filled beauty. I make no excuses for that behavior - that fucking dinosaur deserved every single beheading.


*ahem* ...But I digress (again).

My point here is this: take a moment to remember and pay homage to the people and the culture which helped bring us forward into today. Without the lowly teenage BBS owners of the 80s and 90s, would we all have our own personal 40mbps download speeds? Would we have the power to become our own online TV station, radio personality, hell, even movie star? Probably not.

Sure, the technology of that age was being used for legitimate business. But it was we who co-opted it for entertainment and leisure that ultimately resulted in our always-on, always-connected, insomnia-inflicted, text-while-driving, WoW-before-bills world of today.

So go on, hold that phone lower so the cops can't see your thumb-typing as you drift in and out of lanes all over the country. Play WoW 'til your fingers bleed. Pick your friends based solely on their Twitter and Facebook feeds. We know how you feel. These are the things we dreamt of doing as children, and new toys continue to flood the market faster than any of us can keep up with.

Part of me says, "keep up the great work." and the other part says, "Can't I enjoy the toy I just bought for a little while first?" But in the end, today's nerdy teenagers are doing things with this soon-to-be archaic tech that will continue to drive innovation even faster.

Like my father told me when I was a kid, "Your Grandmother went from a horse and buggy, to putting a man on the moon in her lifetime. Just imagine what will happen before you die."

Now, if you'll excuse me, my Team Fortress 2 clan is waiting for me. I've got to go light a few spies on fire.